Men and Women Living Big: Part Two
1. We Are All Born to Cry and Laugh
I taught my sons that crying can be a releasing of tension, recognition of pain, or joy. I taught them that there is a difference between crying about something from the past, versus crying from something in their life right now. Crying does not make them a “sissy.” Unfortunately, having a female trait in males is often seen as being cowardly. I normalized crying for both genders.
I deliberately chose to allow myself to cry in front of my sons. When this happens I tell them, “I am crying and I am okay.” As a result it is natural for my sons to be comfortable with emotions. No fear. No judgement. It arouses compassion in them rather than fear of not knowing what to do, or feeling responsible for the crying, or inadequate, or that something terrible is wrong and they need to fix it.
2. Humor and Laughter
Joyful humor is an invitation to play, and to not take ourselves or a situation too seriously, even when it is serious. It gives us rest from what is difficult. I taught my sons that humor sometimes is used to reduce feelings of discomfort, and they need to be aware whether they are using humor or laughter to reduce tension, or because they are authentically happy. Both are okay. They just need to understand what is reality.
3. Body Sensation is Essential to Be Successfully Focussed
I taught my sons how to sense their bodies, and have a language to describe these sensations and use breath to release tension. This is the road to focussed living.
I recall the first time my younger son came to me and told me that his lower back was hot, and his muscles were sore when he moved. This articulation of the body, may sound simple, however it is difficult for many men and women to sense their bodies and give language to these sensations. When women and men can sense their bodies, and have a language to communicate these sensations, they are better at being intimately present with others. The inability to sense the body can cause feelings of awkwardness, and uncertainty.
Stay tuned for more steps on how to Live Big!
